Why do people gossip? It is because they are in pain. And the gossip is their addiction.
I overhead some people talking about how a women found a winning lottery ticket in the trash can at the store where she worked. She went public, went on TV, and told the story of how she found the ticket and then went to claim her winnings (in the millions). Before she could collect the lump sum of cash, the person who bought the ticket filed suit claiming that it was hers. The court awarded the ticket to the purchaser on the ground that since she was the one who paid for the ticket, the winnings were hers.
Jay, a middle-aged man in his late 40s told told the story with great enthusiasm to a group of men huddled around. After the story was told, replies came pouring out:
“If I would have won that lottery ticket man, I wouldn’t have told ANYONE I found it,” said the short-haired man to his right.
“Yea! I would have told them I bought it,” replied another.
First off, who gives a shit ???
Second, you have no idea what you would have done!
Why are so many people unable to understand others?
Empathy causes a lot of issues in our current society.
(Take a deep breathe Matt)
Okay, so what do we have here beneath the surface?
These guys are fantasizing. They are living in their egoic future-based minds.
They are living in “la la land”. They feel that if they talk about it enough, it almost feels like it happened.
Many people would rather ignore and/or escape their current reality then to take any action and actually do any work to change themselves. They are stuck, trapped inside a hamster wheel of inevitable and long-lasting pain.
Unfortunately, the media knows this.
They prey on the unconscious.
They are easier to market to. Easier to extract money from. Easier to control. They keep them on the hamster wheel, and they keep them in the cage… drip feeding them the crack-like bullshit we find on most TV programming (italicized on purpose) and in the news (I’ll soon write a post about why I don’t watch the news – heck, I don’t even watch TV [doesn’t mean I don’t consume information though]).
What an addiction really is?
Any addiction, in all its forms, is an unwillingness (sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious) to face the fear and the pain of the current situation.
People consume their drugs (in this example, gossip) to avoid the reality. Then when their “high” subsides, the pain comes back in more intense waves.
The cycle repeats itself and the “drug”needs to be consumed more often and in higher quantities.
This is a representation (a small piece) of what the Buddha called “suffering.”
What can you do about this:
1. Throw out your TV. Well, maybe you can donate it, or sell it, make some money & invest in your own development. Or you can just be freakin’ bad ass and smash that shit. Make sure to film it and send me the clip :)
2. Cancel cable. Huge waste of money. Seriously… cancel that shit. Keep the internet. The internet is your friend :-) you’ll find better stuff when you can search for unlimited amounts of information, rather than have agendas delivered in narrow views.
3. Find new friends who share your values and interests (meetup.com, google, forums, start a blog, etc)
4. Slowly remove yourself from the gossip crowd
The easiest way to do this is to start doing is to start filling up your calendar with new activities (again, make google your friend, look things up man!).. I always advocate honesty and integrity, but I know it can be challenging. Instead of telling your “old” friends, “Hey I can’t make it, because I can’t stand all the gossip”, and instead try “sorry, can’t make it. I’m out of town. Or, got an appointment on Friday”. Make shit up if you have to… just get away from the negativity! Shit’ll kill you. (Seriously.. heard of stress leading to disease?). In time, you can practice being more honest and authentic, in a nice way (without hurting people’s feelings).
5. Go on a retreat, travel, or move
Get away from all the bullshit. Get away from all the noise. Take a weekend R&R (rest & relaxation) retreat (google it), or a vacation. Want to be hardcore? Move. Yup, move. Pick up and get your ass somewhere new. Meet new people, reinvent yourself, and redesign your life :-) I did it twice, and I’m looking forward to doing it again ~ my continual path of exploration, growth, and new experiences.
What are your thoughts on all this?
Are you around gossip often?
Where would you go if you could just pick up, go, and reinvent your identity ?
p.s. I wonder if this is a form of me gossiping (LOL!)… revealing certain levels of my unconsciousness. Damn!
p.p.s Takeaway – Just do one thing to remove yourself from environments which don’t serve you and foster your growth & development. Attend one meetup in the next 60 days. Read a new book (or blog) about how to live life on your terms.
I hope you’re inspired :-)
Keep moving forward my friends… always.