I recently sent my friend a great blog post that was written by Ash Ambridge of The Middle Finger Project , called The 67 Emotions of Online Success.
My buddy wrote back and said the following:
“She’s really cool, I was reading some of her stuff earlier. Her writing is great, and very personal. Pretty cool stories. There is one thing that really gets me about all of these people’s stories, and it’s that they have been achieving and overachieving since they were 3 years old.
I really connect with stories like Eben Pagan [video: The keys to success], where he was a college drop-out, worked at labor jobs, was never in the corporate world, and still made himself an animal.
It’s hard for me to relate to someone that is about my age, but got a full-ride to a great college and made a ton of money in the corporate world. Ya know what I mean?
I have never had any big successes, so I wanna hear from someone else who really made it from nothing. Know what I mean?”
Hopefully that is my story soon enough.”
Something immediately popped out within his email and I replied with:
“Let me re-phrase one of your sentences for you:
‘I have never had any big successes, so I wanna hear from someone else who really made it from nothing. Know what I mean?’
‘I haven’t had a big success yet, so I wanna hear from someone else who really made it from nothing. Know what I mean?’
It’s a small “change your words, change your mindset” thing I learned from a roommate Lester about 2 years ago. He taught me to always add the word “yet” to negative sentences like that. Also watch the words “never” and “any” – they put an emphasis on the the ‘not having’ part.
Didn’t mean to grill you on that, but it just popped out. A great way to work on our mindset is to change the way we speak. Change our words, change our language. Change our language, change our mindset… new beliefs, new actions, new results, confidence/competence loop, positive growth.”
Think about it…
The easiest way to dig into someone’s believe and mindset is to listen to the words they speak. Do you know of anyone who uses words like “never”, “impossible”, “can’t”, “unrealistic”, etc? I would bet you do… or at least you used to (If that’s you, then props for surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals).
Let’s take a look at 3 common examples, which I’m sure we’ve either heard, or have said to ourselves (switch or translate the nouns to something that fits you – [link to come]):
• “I can’t find the time to workout.”
• “I don’t have the money to do that.”
• “I haven’t been to South East Asia.”
Now, feel the difference when you slightly tweak the words:
• “I can’t find the time to workout yet.”
• “I don’t have the money to do that yet.”
• “I haven’t been to South East Asia yet.”
Do you feel the difference? Do you feel how you remain open-minded? Flexible? Even slightly optimistic that it will one day come?
As soon as you use the words like NEVER, CAN’T, DON’T, etc, your brain shuts down :( It gives up hope. It stops searching for answers. It get lazy. It tells you that you’re crazy to have thought such things. Your brain laughs at you and questions, “Who are you to be so bold and desirous ?!”
Who the fuck are you not to BE !
By shifting the way you say things, not only to others, but also to yourself, you immediately shift what was once closed and shut down, to something that seems possible (even if just slightly). Your brain, your being, your subconscious are all looking for ways (even if you don’t consciously notice) to make it happen. Your gut feels good. Your heart is telling you, “Yes, you can have it”, “You can do it!”, “You better keep pressing forward!”
Takeaway: Watch what you say. Feel how it feels. If you want to do be pessimistic, then keep doing that, but if you want to be optimistic and you want to make shit happen, then tweak the words that come out of your mouth.
Just another tool to create a mindset for success. Another way to make the impossible seem possible. Keep reaching towards the bigger you. Keep moving in the direction you are most intuitively called towards. Keep doing you. Growth man, it’s all about the growth.