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5 Ways to Develop Charisma & Increase
Your Conversation Skills
After all, making a bad impression, or wondering about what to say can cause a good amount of anxiety.
(I know because I used to paralyzed in social situations.)
However, it’s the fear of this embarrassment that keeps many people from meeting and connecting with others.
This apathetic behavior often means we might be missing out on:
• new friendships
• potential business connections
• and memorable lifetime adventures
With this in mind, I want to give you some advice for how you can confidently strike up conversations wherever you go.
99% of doing this well comes down to making sure that you get your head in the right place before you even open up your mouth!
Here are 5 effective ways to reprogram your mind so that you can talk to anyone without fear of rejection (and some ideas of what to talk about!)
Get Your Head in the Right Place
Before you talk to anybody, make sure you get your head in the right place.
If you worry about the impression you’re making, then you’re allowing yourself to be controlled by a fear of being judged.
This happens when your ego wants to control your behaviors.
Everybody has an ego: it’s job is to give you an identity that others judge you against. Most people build their ego by developing their self image.
Unfortunately, this makes them very rigid in their ability to communicate with others.
It’s the reason that some high-flying CEO’s won’t talk to the cleaning lady in their work place: the prestige their ego has created for them just won’t allow it.
The solution to becoming a great conversationalist is to lessen your dependence on your ego.
Do this by spending some time building up your self-esteem.
This genuine love you can build for yourself values you as a person beyond power, titles and flashy watches.
Simply put, the greater your self-worth, the less you need to maintain a front and the more happy you can be, just being yourself!
The quickest way to build your self-esteem is to perform random acts of kindness.
Go out and make a stranger’s day by doing a kind and selfless act.
I recommend buying a homeless person a sandwich.
This gives you irrefutable evidence of your goodness as a person, and contributes to a high degree of self worth.
In turn, this helps you make peace with anything bad somebody could say about you – after all, you have evidence in your life to the contrary.
In this way no stranger can ever have power over you.
When you embrace other people’s judgements of yourself a beautiful phenomenon happens- you begin to no longer have to censor yourself, or worry about what impression you’re creating as your ego doesn’t crave validation anymore because your self esteem is doing the job!
Assume a State of Positivity
The power of positivity is huge, as this is the energy that expresses your charisma.
If you feel this positivity first, it’ll come through in your voice and gestures, and there’s a massive chance that your listener will feel it too!
However, you must take the first step: a positive attitude is just a question of habit, so start practicing today by focusing on the things that you’re grateful for in life!
Set Yourself Up So You Can’t Lose
Embrace a win/win attitude toward your conversation. Most people believe that every conversation has two possible outcomes. Either it will 1) go very well, or 2) go really bad.
What you must do however, is change the possible outcomes you can expect, so that no conversation ends up going bad.
Your new possible outcomes are it’ll either 1) go very well, or 2) make a really funny story!
This way, it doesn’t matter which outcome the conversation has, as you’re drawing a positive result from the experience regardless.
This helps keep the vibe positive, which in turn helps to generate further success.
Ease Other People’s Anxieties
The biggest subconscious fear people have when someone approaches them is “Is this person a threat?”
Smiling removes this fear and makes people feel comfortable around you.
A great tip is to hold your smile until they smile back.
Look at them in the eyes while smiling, stand up straight, hold your head up and begin to smile with your eyes.
Don’t worry about having ‘perfect’ teeth: a real smile comes from the eyes!
Do It For The Right Reasons
Aim to start conversations for altruistic reasons.
When you desire to simply express yourself, the conversation begins in a much more natural and relaxed manner as you are less concerned with the outcome.
This will help carry a more genuine vibe.
Some genuine reasons for starting a conversation include, sharing an amusing observation, or satisfying your curiosity by asking a question.
The overall aim though is simply to enjoy yourself as you express your own opinions in an authentic way.
Okay Marcus, But What Should I Talk About?
Now that your head is geared up and in the right place, we’re going to look at the crucial first 10 seconds of the conversation.
This is the part everyone stresses over because it determines the whole vibe of what’s to follow.
Consequently, it’s imperative that you manage to capture the person’s attention.
Do this with a simple “ Hey” or “ Excuse me”.
Even a wave of your hand to trap their gaze will often suffice.
Do not launch into any conversation until the listener’s eyes are firmly fixed upon yours, otherwise they may not hear you and you’ll be left in the awkwardness of wondering whether to repeat yourself. (Or worse – scaring the crap out of them!)
Once you have their undivided attention, pause and then pepper your upcoming statement with a prefix like,
“I could be wrong here, but…”
This little trick will build your listener’s curiosity and get them invested in what you are about to say.
Now all you have to do is ask a question that piques your curiosity.
You see someone reading a book
“Excuse me…I could be wrong here, but…that looks like a great book! How is it so far?”
You see somebody staring through a shop window
“Excuse me…I could be wrong here, but…you look like you’re in the middle of a very important buying decision!”
You notice someone standing on a bridge
“Excuse me…I could be wrong here, but…you have so much to live for! Please don’t jump!”
Enjoy Yourself !
Remember, get your head in the right place, put a smile on your face, and have fun experimenting!
If you would like to learn more effective ways to develop your conversation skills, you can download my free eBook “How To Talk To Anybody Without Fear Of Rejection: 21 Secrets To Conversational Mastery” by clicking the book image below.
He believes that deep down, everyone has what it takes to not only become socially confident, but to become a charismatic superstar.
Learn more at: YourCharismaCoach.com